3/19/2011

Today I weighed in and I gained three lbs and I'm trying not to be hard on myself but I need to work on getting enough calories in and when I do eat off of the Jenny Craig program to log what I ate. Also I need to make sure that I'm getting enough water in throughout the day. So I know that I have to get back on track and I need to start wearing my special bracelet that my sister started for me. Every 10lbs that I lose I get a new charm but I haven't been wearing it because it's to big on me now and one of the charms is messed up a bit. So tomorrow I'll have my dad remeasure my wrist and then I'll order a new bracelet and then I'll transfer the charms. I have to keep finding new things to keep me going on this journey because I feel that I'll never lose over 100lbs and I guess I need to stop looking at the big picture and take it in smaller doses. I talked to this woman today at Jenny that lost over 100lbs and she's still working towards her goal so we're going to motivate one another this week. It's just great to have someone to look to who's been down this journey and to ask questions. For me it's more just being able to ask how she's been able to keep going on her journey. The other issue that I'm having is that my mind still needs to catch up with my body and even tho I've lost 45lbs and everyone who hasn't seen me in awhile tells me I look great but I still feel like that fat girl and that I still have those 45lbs on me. I know that this is a journey and some day I'll see the end of it but its just rough at times. I prefer the ups to the downs and the other thing that I've noticed is that I've become more vulnerable and that I'm talking about issues instead of eating through them. My mom and I were talking about an issue that was still bugging both of us but it was nice to sit down with her this morning and talk about it. I know that this week will be better!!!